Like stained glass windows
Our true beauty glows
When light glows from the inside of our temple
Shining through our outer skin
Revealing beautiful images
And telling tales never heard before
Each window uniquely beautiful.
Oh yes, I am beautiful

As someone who has never sat face to face with a doctor telling me I had breast cancer, I can only guess how I would react. Contrary to what I might imagine, the first question most women ask by far is whether or not they will loose their hair. Until I really thought hard about it, I assumed they might want to know their chances of survival, whether to have a lumpectomy or mastectomy, or a hundred other health related questions.

Then, I remembered an incident that happened a few months ago when I had my last haircut. The girl next to me had gorgeous, shiny black shoulder length hair. She was in a state of apoplexy because she claimed the stylist had cut off more than an inch of her hair. She was collecting clippings from the floor, sobbing, and demanding a ruler to measure the exact amount cut. In my estimation, even her best friends, if she had any, would not even notice she had a hair cut.

Sitting in a chair two stations away sat Annie, a thirty-two year old mother of two who had just started chemo for stage 3 best cancer. She had six and eight year old boys that she desperately wanted to watch grow up. Within a few days of starting treatment, she found clumps of hair long auburn hair on her pillow when she woke up in the morning. Even more hair circled the drain in the shower when she washed her hair. She was heartsick as she watched more and more hair fall out day after day. Each time she had a feeling of anxiety and unease in the pit of her stomach. After trudging to her next chemo session, she met Amy whose head was shaved totally bald. Instead of hair, she sported a bright pink baseball cap. She walked right over to Annie and gave her a giant bear hug, Without saying a word, they both began to sob. It spoke volumes.

Then, I thought about my own haircut history. I am pretty laid back about my hair because I know if I don’t like the cut, it will grow back. Still, over the years I have had some real doozies along the way that bummed me out for a week or two. I started to feel some of the harsh reality that would come with having absolutely no hair at all. I thought a little more about it. What is the most typical way in which we tend to describe a woman? “She is a tall red head with short curly hair” or “she is about 5’4” with long straight black hair down to her waist.” I realized how much women define themselves by the cut, color and style of their hair. Without question, it is a big part of every woman’s identity. In hindsight, it made perfect sense that a  woman’s first response to a cancer diagnosis was whether or not she would loose her hair.

After the few hours it took to get their chemo treatments, Annie and Amy became fast friends; sisters fighting a battle that they were determined to win. Annie told Amy about a salon in town that shaved chemo patients heads at no charge, in a supportive loving environment. Amy promised Annie she would take her there when she was ready to take the plunge. She promised her that regardless of how emotionally difficult it would be, she would be surrounded by other breast cancer patients who had the courage and moxy to make the choice to shave their heads instead of having the excruciating pain of watching it fall out more and more each day.

The next week Annie was ready and Amy took her to a very special place in Islip, New York called Racine’s. After the death of their mother, the owners and staff wanted to find a way to comfort and support women with cancer by opening their salon on Mondays to offer free salon and spa services. It gave these women a way to offset the ravaging physical side effects that more often than not affected their appearance, and thus, how they felt about themselves. In the last ten years, the program has become a special place for patient’s emotional well being. It is a loving, inviting place that helps hundreds of women feel good about themselves in ways that medical care cannot.

To support Racine’s and the strong women who go there to shave their heads for the first time, Evelyn Pearl Breast Cancer Awareness Jewelry is donating a pendant to each woman to mark this first brave step toward recovery.

To learn more about Racine’s, go to http://www.mondaysatracine.org or watch their HBO special Mondays at Racine’s.

To learn more about Evelyn Pearl Breast Cancer Awareness Jewelry, go to www.evelynpearl.com